Why Pronouns Matter: A Quick Guide

Pronouns may seem small, but they play a big role in how people are seen, respected, and understood. Using someone’s correct pronouns signals basic dignity and inclusion—especially for transgender and nonbinary individuals.

This guide walks you through why pronouns matter, how to use them, and what to do when you make a mistake. Whether you’re learning for yourself, your workplace, or your classroom, this quick guide can help.

Step 1: Understand What Pronouns Represent

Pronouns are words we use to refer to people in place of their names—like he, she, they. They signal gender identity in many languages and contexts. Getting them right affirms someone’s identity; getting them wrong can feel dismissive or even harmful.

Here are a few things to keep in mind about pronouns:

• He/him, she/her, they/them are common—but many others exist (ze/zir, xe/xem, etc.).
• Not everyone uses pronouns that align with your assumptions based on appearance.
• Some people use more than one set (e.g., she/they), and all should be respected.

Step 2: Share Your Own Pronouns Proactively

Sharing your pronouns signals openness and helps normalize the practice. It also removes pressure from trans or nonbinary people to always be the ones educating others.

Simple ways to share your pronouns include:

• Add pronouns to your email signature, Zoom name, or social bio.
• Introduce yourself with them: “Hi, I’m Jordan and I use they/them.”
• Model the habit in meetings, classrooms, or hiring practices.

Step 3: Ask Politely—And Only If Necessary

It’s okay to ask someone their pronouns—but do so with care and only when relevant. In group settings, allow people to share voluntarily rather than requiring it.

Respectful approaches include the following practices:

• Use inclusive prompts like “Tell us your name and pronouns if you’d like to share.”
• Avoid putting people on the spot, especially in unsafe or new environments.
• Never assume based on looks—ask when needed and always respect the answer.

Step 4: Correct Yourself (and Others) Respectfully

Everyone slips up occasionally. What matters is how you respond. If you use the wrong pronoun, correct it, apologize briefly, and move on. Over-apologizing can make things worse by shifting attention or guilt onto the person you misgendered.

Tips for handling mistakes with care:

• Quickly correct and continue: “She—sorry, they—went to the meeting.”
• Follow up privately if needed, but don’t make it about you.
• Gently correct others when it’s safe to do so. Model the right usage.

Why This Matters

Using correct pronouns isn’t about political correctness—it’s about recognizing people for who they are. Respecting pronouns reduces harm, especially for those who are misgendered regularly, which can feel invalidating and exclusionary. It also builds safer environments in schools, workplaces, and medical settings where trust and communication matter. Sharing and respecting pronouns also signals allyship, and sets a tone of inclusivity that encourages others to do the same.

Common Misconceptions

There are several misconceptions that often surround pronoun usage. A common one is that “they” can’t be singular—but it has been used that way for centuries, even in formal English. Others think that sharing pronouns is only for trans people or that it reveals private information, when in fact it normalizes respect and inclusion. Finally, dismissing pronouns as ‘just grammar’ overlooks the deeper connection between language and identity, especially for those whose lives are affected by misgendering daily.

What If You’re Unsure?

If you’re uncertain about someone’s pronouns, there are respectful ways to navigate it. Start by using their name instead of a pronoun until they volunteer it. When in doubt, they/them is a respectful neutral option. You might also check their email signature, LinkedIn, or other public information for clues. The key is not to assume, but to act with care and openness if you need to ask directly.

Pronouns in Institutional Settings

Institutions play an important role in making pronoun respect standard practice. HR forms and classroom rosters that include optional pronoun fields send a message of inclusion. Staff training on gender-inclusive language can help reduce bias and ensure smoother interactions. And it’s critical to respect people’s privacy—never out someone based on prior records or assumptions. Policy and culture should align to create a space where everyone feels seen and respected in everyday exchanges.

Takeaway

Using someone’s correct pronouns isn’t complicated—it’s caring. This simple act signals inclusion, awareness, and basic human respect. Whether you’re learning or leading, taking the time to get it right matters.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about practice, empathy, and honoring how people want to be seen.